I sat in my favourite place to think – my straw swinging chair stuffed with pillows, swaying my feet. “Who would have thought that those days would come to an end and I’ll be free?”, I said to myself as I reminisced.
I lived with fear for most of life. Fear of nothing really. Then, I would run to Papa crying, oh God bless his heart. He would hug me, sit me on his laps reminding me of Abba’s words:
Fear not! For I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are Mine.
Those words worked wonders as they always calmed my racing heart. When Papa went to be with Abba though, it was hard to remember those words whenever I had my episodes of fear.
To take my mind off it, I indulged in so many things I am not proud of. I became sexually active, cried my eyes out and drank myself to stupor to numb the emptiness I felt inside and repeated the cycle. Did doing them ease my fear? For a moment, yes but after, it came back strongly.
Oh and fear didn’t come alone. It always had company —condemnation, guilt, shame, loud voices in my head screaming “You’re worthless, filthy, unloved and will never amount to anything.“
I was on the verge of ending my life but Jesus touched me. He called my name and said, “You’re Mine.”
In that moment, I felt my demons leave. The shame, fear and guilt all gone as I yearned to know this Man even more.
It seemed like the cycle would never end but look at me now. . .
Inspired by Mary Magdalene in The Chosen movie series
I won’t tell you the entire story about Mary Magdalene as depicted in The Chosen because I want you to see it for yourself.
Okay. Let’s talk about you.
According to the National Center for PTSD, around 10% of women have PTSD sometime in their lives compared to 4% of men. This shows how pressing this matter is.
You can actively live with trauma due to past events and it can be triggered once in a while.
Whenever we refer to our past, we are mostly talking about regrets, hurts and bad memories. Sometimes, you think you’re over it until something seemingly harmless reopens those wounds.
Do you still get flashes from the past? Nightmares? Anxiety episodes?
You’ve probably wondered, ‘How do I get over my past?’ ‘What do I do when something triggers memories from my past?‘
This blog post will give you the answers you seek based on real life experiences and God’s Word. So trust me, you’re in good hands.😉
6 Ways To Deal With Your Past
- Admit it. Stop lying to yourself that there’s no past. You have to admit there’s a problem to effectively solve it. Don’t deny its existence. Instead, allow yourself feel the pain and hurt. Shed tears if you must. Research shows that your tears contain certain feel-good chemicals that help ease physical and emotional pain. So again, cry if you must.
- Ask God to heal you. God makes His intentions known concerning our wellbeing (3 Jn. 2). He also mentions severally how He loves us and cares for us whether we know, feel, believe it or not. He understands what you are going through and wants to exchange His strength for your weaknesses. Trust Him and allow Him heal you.
Maybe like me, you have begged God to wipe your memories and give you a fresh start severally. You know, like tabula rasa?
Well, the truth is God actually helps us but you will still have those memories. What happens though is that He gives you grace (in this case, strength) to heal (2 Cor. 12:8-10).
Honestly cry to God telling Him about your past – how you feel about it and how the memory affects you. He knows quite alright but wants to hear it from you regardless.
P.S: This will not be a one time thing. Healing is a process so you might constantly have to converse with God about your hurts. Don’t feel bad or embarrassed to do so, okay? He isn’t tired of you.
- Forgive yourself. Many times, we find it easier to forgive others than ourselves. Your willingness to forgive yourself covers about 70% of your healing. Dear One, God has forgiven you. Please forgive yourself and move on to live your God-ordained life (Phil. 3:13-14).
“Extend kindness to yourself & operate from love.”Debola Deji-Kurunmi
- Use your sword. No, I don’t mean physical swords. I’m talking about the Word of God that is able to pull down strongholds of the mind and shut the mouth of the devil. The Word of God is truth and can set you free (Jn. 8:32). Search for Scriptures, write them out in a personalized way, confess these words and place them everywhere. I like to set some of them on my room wall and as my wallpaper too. They serve as reminders when the devil comes with his lies.
- Talk to someone. Now this one is hard. Whatever your reason may be for holding back, I don’t know it but I think it’s valid. ‘What if they see me in a different light?‘ ‘What if they tell everyone? ‘ ‘What if they’re not able to help me heal‘. I hear you but what if they don’t? You should tell someone as this eases some of the burden off your chest. Also, having the right people around can be encouraging in your healing journey. You don’t just tell it to everyone though. Talk to someone who is spiritually mature and emotionally intelligent enough to be discrete about it. It can be your Pastor, Parents, Spirit-filled therapist or a trusted friend.
- The story you’ll tell. This is true. There’s purpose in pain. These words stuck with me from last Sunday’s sermon and it’s true. What if God wants to use your story as an inspiration and deliverance to a generation? I’m not exaggerating. It is happening. Joyce Meyer was abused by her Dad and is now a voice of hope. Sarah Jakes Robert moved past trauma into a life of impact. Mary Magdalene washed Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume and is greatly remembered for her act of sacrifice. And what about you? You get to tell your story. Will you let your past hinder you or move past your past, stepping into your God-ordained destiny?
I had a conversation with my Mom few weeks back and I asked her a question. I had read something worrisome in a book and wanted to clarify.
I asked her if it was possible to lose memories from my past.
She went like “No o! Except you have amnesia“. She went on saying “You’ll still have memories from your past but over time, you will heal from the pain and hurt to the extent that you are able to use your pain to help others“.
So on days when it seems like I’m still stuck, I’ll comfort myself knowing that it’s all part of the story I’ll tell.
In the movie series, we see times when Mary got calls from her past. Times she felt unworthy of the love she had received. She went back to her old ways at some point but Jesus reached out to her again. This is not to say you should give in to your past when it calls. It’s just to let you know that these things can happen. If they do, don’t let guilt, shame and condemnation consume you. Run back to God.
“Stop avoiding your past. Instead of going around it, go right through it. That’s the only way you’ll heal.“JOYCE MEYER
Really, I’ve come to find out that if you don’t deal with your past hurts, you’ll keep going round in never-ending circles. I’m sure you don’t want to live your life that way.
Sometimes, we think we’ve healed only for wounds to be reopened. It’s okay. Don’t cover them or else, they’ll stink and rotten. Let God heal you over and over and over again. Okay that’s so many overs LOL.
I trust you’ve been inspired.
What other ways do you know to be effective in healing from past hurts?
Don’t hold back on your opinions as I am always delighted to hear from you. Share this post on all your social media platforms. Trust me, someone on there needs to see this. Be the catalyst for someone’s journey to healing.
Watch The Chosen.
Have you see the Chosen movie yet? If you haven’t you’re missing out. The movie takes you on a journey into the lives of Jesus’ disciples including our story inspiration, Mary Magdalene.
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