Another stressful day at school, Nancy got back to her hostel feeling all kinds of ways. She was upset, exhausted, hungry, scared and to crown it all, she had been getting a lot of pressure lately from her boyfriend, Josh. He had been pressuring her to have ‘fun’ with him. As the typical church girl she was, her parents were very much aware of her relationship as well as a few trusted persons. But she hadn’t told anyone about what he wanted her to do. She had just fallen on her bed and closed her eyes when Benny walked in. Benny was a girl she had met in Uni and they had been vibing since then. ‘Girl! You don’t look good, what’s up?’ Benny asked in a concerned voice. ‘Nothing!’ She answered in a voice that if you had been there , you’d know she was lying. ‘Spit it out!’ Benny said while sitting next to her. After much persuasion, Nancy decided to tell her. She cried, spoke of how she didn’t want Josh to leave her and how she wanted to stay sexually pure. She also spoke of how scared she was of giving in if he pressured her further. Benny spoke comforting words and advised her to stand her ground. Nancy felt a lot better.
Two days later, Benny was in her room listening to Dante Bowe’s ‘Circles ‘ when Tolani walked in crying. Tolani was a mutual friend of Benny and Nancy. Benny tried to ask what was wrong but Tolani would not speak. She was probably scared of opening up. In an attempt to build trust, Benny told Tolani of how Nancy had confided in her few days back. When she noticed she was getting her attention, she went further to tell her all Nancy had trusted her with. She then said, ‘I listened to her and was able to speak comforting words so you have nothing to worry about‘…
Have you ever talked to a friend about a problem ? I mean you honestly poured your heart out and wanted them to just listen. Did they do more than that?
You see, sometimes we do way more than be a listening ear. After listening to our friends, siblings or loved ones rant about their issues, sometimes, we go on to use these things as examples. Have you ever stopped to wonder if they wanted that thing to be kept secret? Of course, you didn’t mean any harm. You just wanted the other person to relate better or trust you enough to tell you what was bothering them. Just like Benny, she didn’t mean to gossip about her friend’s problem to someone else. When we do this, we break trust, severe relationships that were meant to be and cause pain long after the words are spoken.
If we look at it, it’s not gossip but then it has the same results as gossip.
Now don’t get me wrong. You should be more open than others for people to discuss their challenges, weaknesses and issues with. Just be a listening ear though ! Not a talking mouth. Nothing more! Instead of telling others that can not help, tell God on behalf of your friends…
I hope you were inspired. If you were, please share with your loved ones and on your favourite social media accounts.
QUICK QUESTION: Do you think it’s wrong to use someone’s problems as an example when talking with someone else? Do let me know in the comment section as I always love to hear from you.
You see, sometimes we do way more than be a listening ear. After listening to our friends, siblings or loved ones rant about their issues, sometimes, we go on to use these things as examples.Tweet
Have you ever stopped to wonder if they wanted that thing to be kept secret?Tweet
Just be a listening ear though ! Not a talking mouth. Nothing more! Instead of telling others that can not help, tell God on behalf of your friends…Tweet
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